Monday, May 19, 2014

Happy Masturbation May! (NSFR)

Hey everyone!  May is (formerly National) Masturbation Month, so get get thee to bed (or the nearest empty room, or a dark corner in an alley... you know, whatever strikes your fancy) and have a good wank.

Or do this: Walk into your corner watering hole / local public ale house, sit next to an attractive stranger, look him / her dead in the eye, and ask: "So.  What's the most interesting and / or fun place you've ever masturbated?"  I bet if you did this continuously throughout a Friday or Saturday night while bar hopping, you'd end up with some fantastic stories.  Write a comment if you do!  Consider it homework.  I am, after all, a teacher.

For me, it was on an express bus crossing South Korea.  I was on my way home, texting back and forth with this guy I'd wanted to sleep with for years; we were making plans for him to come over that night and "have a few beers."  I couldn't stop fantasizing about him; I absolutely had to touch myself.  The bus was full of people, but most of them were sleeping.  I was sitting in a solo seat and the entire bus was dark; I was silent, and as far as I know, no one noticed at all.  But hey!  At least I'm not the only one who does this.  The express buses in Korea usually stop at a rest area for fifteen - twenty minutes; I've also gone into the rest area bathroom on a couple of cross-country journeys to rub one out.  Sometimes you just need that release, you know?

To women everywhere who acknowledge that they masturbate and enjoy it, I salute you. 


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