Oh my god, I love this! I busted a gut laughing as I was reading "scientologists, a fire hydrant, republican governors... bears!?!" Haaaaaahaaha. Pure genius!
Thanks! I was hoping a few people would find that funny! For some reason, when I thought of fire hydrant (I was in bed and couldn't sleep), I laughed out loud for like ten minutes. Sleep deprivation will do that to you.